Loving What’s Right on Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!

We grow, either individually or together, not by hating what’s wrong, but by loving what’s right.

Very often through the frustrations of life we focus on those negative things that push our buttons. We forget the things that gave us joy about those we love most, particularly about our significant other.

When we fall in love we seem to admire the attributes in our prospective partner that we don’t see in ourselves. The old saying is “opposites attract”. Often over time those things that once captivated us about the “love of our life” become the traits we grow to despise! What causes us to scorn the things we once admired and the person we once loved? Perhaps it’s because we struggle to be what we feel we are not; we are constantly competing with our mate and never winning. An “I win/you lose” partnership will never stand the test of time and allow each person to grow.

What if we can learn how to approach the relationship as less of a competition and more of that union it was meant to be? What if we could graciously be for the other person what they perceive they are not able to be for themselves? This would allow your partner to love what they are and create a synergy in the relationship which would be invincible.

When I work with clients about relationships I ask them “What did you like about this person when you fell in love?” The answer is often, “I can’t remember!” usually with a glazed look over their face. It may then take us some pointed questions to uncover what it was that brought the couple together.

We usually see what we look for. Valentine’s Day is a perfect time to start looking for what you love in those with whom you want a better relationship. It may be a reach at first! On a piece of paper write down five things you appreciate or love about your partner. Share what’s on your paper with the other person, or keep it to yourself if your relationship is not yet ready to share. Think about those things you love daily, add to the list as you remember and observe what happens! It may be the best gift you ever gave or received. . . You may even start falling in love again!

Enjoy Life!Loving What’s Right